A top psychologist who has examined  a number of top republican leaders including Mitt Romney for sanity says that it is difficult to find sane Republicans and in particular sane Tea Party leaders. He has also examined Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann and Rick  Santorum and concluded that they were not sane. Now he has examined Jeb Bush and has declared that he is one of the few sane people in the Republican party.

The label of sanity came as a shock to the Jeb Bush camp: “This is something I never expected in my wildest dreams. Everything is normal, then suddenly, out of nowhere comes this lightning bolt which rips everything apart.” said Jeb Bush. The label of sanity is a certain death knell for Jeb’s association with the Republican party and his chances of becoming the Vice-President candidate with Mitt Romney. In the past 60 years nobody who has been declared sane has managed to stay in the party more than 6 months after such a finding.

Future options for Bush remain unclear, though there is speculation that he may appeal the finding after first immersing himself in the field of Republican Logic. The stakes are high: “The sanity label just has to go, there is no future for me like this. The rest of my clan now shuns me. The oxymoronic, self-contradictory, orthogonal nature of Republican Logic has the power to heal, and I am confident that with enough effort I will completely lose my ability to write a sentence such as this.”

When asked what his plans were should Republican Logic fail to cure him, Jeb just shrugged and said “I’ve got oil money, I don’t need plans.”